Martin Luther once said that "the moment God forgives us, God puts us to the work of forgiving."

The work of forgiving. We are in the third week now of our Lenten emphasis on "Forgiveness." We have heard how all forgiveness begins in the heart of our God, a God who loves us and longs to offer forgiveness to us. And, as we heard from Greg last Sunday, forgiveness is a form of the healing that is to be central to our life in Christian community and our relationship with God.

Today we focus in on the imperative of our Lord's Prayer: forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. We are now head over heels into the work of forgiveness, and I know that it's not easy. Several of you have spoken with me over these last weeks about things and people in your life that are hard to forgive. You have spoken about how it can be hard to forgive ourselves, how hard it can be to truly believe that God would forgive us. And some have said, "I just can't, I can't... ." Still others have gone to the narthex and picked up a stone and, with the full realization of the power it has held, have let it go into the cleansing bowl of water.

We are doing the work of forgiving. It is hard. And it brings healing. And it carries us close to the heart of God.

Picking up a stone and putting it in the water is a symbolic way of letting go. Some cultures around the world do this in other, more dramatic ways. I've read that in Rome, on New Year's Eve, there is a tradition of literally throwing old things right out the window, to start the New Year free of the past. Similarly, David and I were in Oaxaca, Mexico, one year on New Year's Eve and found ourselves in the middle of something we didn't understand at the time, but it's part of this same tradition.

It was late in the evening, not yet midnight, and the central square was full of people-lights, music, kids, old people, families. Stands were set up and selling-in addition to all the usual souvenirs and food and so forth-very inexpensive pottery, simple clay plates. People were buying these and then standing back and throwing them with full force against one wall of the great cathedral, smashing their plates into smithereens. It was loud and raucous and exciting. Only later did we learn that this is part of that same tradition, expressing the same human need to throw out the old, to start the New Year free of old resentments, old fears, old prejudices and sins. Throw them out! Let them smash against the strong fortress of faith and be done with it. God is ready to offer healing and new life.

Maybe we'd be better off, healthier emotionally, if we still had something like that in our culture! I don't know. The Trustees would probably be really upset with me if I were to suggest gathering in the courtyard this New Year's Eve and throwing plates at the side of the church! Short of that, how might we engage the work of forgiveness in our lives, to throw out the old and make room for the new?

It's been said that forgiveness is not an elective in the curriculum of life-it is a required course! We can see that from the prayer Jesus gives us. Of all the things he might have told us to pray about, he elevates forgiveness to the central spot. Pray this,he says: "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us." He puts forgiveness right at the heart of our relationship with God and with one another.

Let's be clear that Jesus is not saying that God's forgiveness is conditional on our forgiving others. The writer, Frederick Buechner, helps us see that conditional forgiveness is not really forgiveness at all. And secondly, our unforgiveness is precisely one of the things about us which we need God to forgive us most. But what Jesus is saying is that the pride that keeps us from forgiving is the same pride that keeps us from accepting forgiveness, and we need God to help us do something about that.

A wise pastor once described how he responded when people came to him confessing that they could not forgive a certain person or situation. He said that he did not tell them to "try harder," but rather to begin by praying for the grace to forgive. And if not that, then perhaps being willing to pray to be able to pray that prayer. And if even that is too difficult at first, might they be willing to simply express their refusal to God? For in so doing, we let God into our pride, our hurt, our sense of entitlement and our desire to hang onto bitterness and pain.

Many of us get stuck in the work of forgiveness by waiting until the offender sees the error of his ways or repents or apologizes. We don't want to go before they do, as if this were some sort of game of tug rope. This is no game and it's not about winning. It's about healing and moving on. And that begins in us.

Lewis Smedes, the gifted pastoral counselor and teacher, wrote this about the work of forgiveness: "Forgiveness happens inside the person doing the forgiving. The first person who benefits from forgiveness is the one who does it. It heals our pain and resentment before it does anything for the person we forgive: they might never even know about it."

And then, you see, as Jesus knew, as we let our hearts heal, as we forgive others, we are then able to receive the forgiveness God offers us.

This is the dynamic of forgiveness. It is a healing process, as complex, as any medical treatment that depends on all the various components of medication, physical therapy, doctors' skill, attitude, loving care, healing touch and prayer. It moves us through the phases of uncovering our anger, of deciding to forgive, of working on forgiveness and of discovering release from emotional prison. And finding restored relationship with one another and with God.

How powerful it has been to hear this morning a part of Dr. Doan's story of forgiveness, out of a horrendous experience of war, of becoming a refugee, of finding a new life in this country and in Christ Jesus. Few of us face circumstances as demanding as these. And yet we all, through the course of our own lives, discover that we must do the hard work of forgiveness, too. And in that, God is with us, having shown us the Way and Truth and the Life of Christ Jesus.

Our epistle reading this morning is from the book we call Colossians. When Paul wrote his letter to the early church at Colossae, he was writing to a church in deep conflict. It was conflict over what now to us would sound like an obscure point of theology. But it was conflict nonetheless, and in that, not so different from the kinds of conflict we experience in our marriage, our workplace, our family, our congregation. So, in conclusion this morning, hear again these words of admonition and invitation into a whole way of life shaped by forgiveness and love. And let them become for you operating instructions for the work of forgiveness in this Lenten season:

"As God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness and patience. Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as Christ has forgiven you, so also you must forgive. Clothe yourselves with love which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts...and be thankful."

Amen.

NOTES:

Frederick Buechner. Wishful Thinking: A Seeker's ABC. Harper San Francisco, 1993.

"Forgiveness." Alive Now. March/April 2003.

For additional resources: www.forgiving.org (from the Campaign for Forgiveness Research) and www.practicingourfaith.org/forgiveness.html.

© Patricia E. Farris, 2003. Permission is given for brief quotation with attribution. All other rights reserved.